Thursday, January 15, 2009

Where It Started

I posted this on my other blog before Little Guy had his hearing test today. I think it's fairly telling of how I was feeling, and I wanted to be sure I kept it, which is why I'm pasting it in over here.

Ok, I'll Answer All Your Questions
So, the questions have been swirling. Some of you have come out and just asked us. Others have asked each other afraid that you'd offend us by asking. You won't offend us. We're pretty open-minded people. But, just to make it all nice and easy, here are the answers. (And, yes. I've actually heard some of these questions come straight from the mouths of people. *shaking my head in awe at what some people will actually say*.)
Q: Does Little Guy hear?
A: Honestly, probably not. He hasn't passed a hearing test yet. There was one test that showed a little response at 70db, just like the Beast when he was a baby. We have one last hearing test this Thursday morning. It's the deciding one that will have all the real answers.By his behavior at home, it doesn't appear that he hears much of anything at all. There is no startle reflex to sound. There is no crying when children come screaming through the house. When it comes to responding to sound, Little Guy doesn't show much. I guess it's possible that it's all just because he has so many siblings. But we're not counting on it.
Q: Well, at least you guys know what to do. He couldn't have come to a better family.
A: We're glad some people feel that way. We often feel really inadequate as parents to these little people with big needs. But, then again, I think all parents of any child feels a little inadequate about their parenting skills, don't they?And, yes. We do know what to do. But, that doesn't make it any easier. In some ways, it's even a little bit harder. When we had The Beast, we only had one other child a full three and a half years older. Now, there are four other children, two of which are still VERY young and very demanding of our time and resources. And, just knowing what to do doesn't guarantee the same one in a million result we got with The Beast. Some of these realities do weigh heavily on our minds.
Q: So, have you learned your lesson and decided to stop having anymore children? (maybe not said in just those words, but that was the intention of the question).
A: Did you decide to stop having children when you got one with brown eyes instead of blue? Or one who has trouble with math? Or one who runs a little slower than the rest of the team?
Q: So, are you okay with it all?
A: It's not what we wanted, but we're always okay. We were okay when Number One had extreme allergy and asthma issues. We did just fine when Pretty had digestive issues requiring a whole new diet as a baby. We more than survived the Beast's hearing loss issues. We came out on top when Snort almost died on us, then had an umbilical hernia, then developed severe reflux. We are always okay. We are very, very aware of who is really in charge, and we love Him for the plan He has for us and our children. We will not sit around and feel sorry for ourselves, but we will stand up, brush ourselves off, hold each other just a little tighter (because really only we can understand what each other is really feeling), and do what needs to be done. And we will be blessed for it as we always have been. Let me make it perfectly clear. We will be okay.
Does all that mean we're not a little sad? Oh no. We are saddened by the fact that Little Guy probably doesn't hear. It means there is once again a detour from the path we saw for him. We know what sort of trials and struggles we and he will have to deal with, and it makes us a little sad to know what's coming. And sometimes we cry about it a little bit. But even the greatest and deepest of all sadnesses can only last for so long. The sun will shine whether we want it to or not. So, we work on embracing the sunshine and the beauty of this perfect little child.
Q: So, do you need anything?
A: Yep! We need patience. We need everyone to know we're okay and we're going to handle all of this in our own little way as a family. And, when we're ready to ask for help, we really will ask. (Well, maybe. I like to be independant. The King says I'm stubbourn. I prefer to call it being firm in my convictions).
Really, though. Patience is the thing we most need from everyone. Bear with us when we seem like we're always running late or frazzled. We probably are a little frazzled, but we learn by doing. So, be patient when you're dying to step in and do it for us and we insist on doing it ourselves. It's because we're learning.
Be patient when it seems like maybe Little Guy isn't catching up like the Beast did. They're two different people. Therefore, their timing will be as individual as they are. By the same token, their accomplishments will be their own.If someone REALLY wants to do something for us, prayer is a good thing. Don't pray for him to hear. If God has already decided to bless him with a quiet world, who are we to change that? Only great things can come from great trials, and we wouldn't want that taken from us. Instead, pray for God's will to be done. Pray that we, as his family, and you, as his friends and loved ones, can accept the cards we're dealt and handle it in the way that is best for Little Guy and most fitting in the eyes of his Creator. Who knows? Maybe next Thursday will bring a little miracle!
So, there you go. The answers to the questions we've heard the most. We welcome the questions. I just wish we had all the answers. We'll have more in a few more days. I'll update you then. Until then, just enjoy these answers. And think of more questions. We always welcome them.

1 comment:

  1. wow just got to your blog from tami conklin- praying for you guys right now! my oldest (3) has severe spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy and is completely dependant, we are very very blessed he is alive and with us at all, and I have a 2 yr old and a 7 month old- all boys. so I of course have a special place in my heart for all special needs children and their moms and dads. I just cried reading some of your posts, my heart feels the same as you with some of them! Its sometimes so hard to feel like you're measuring up to be a mom of these perfect children, but then you just have to get up and get back into taking care of them as best you can again and know He will strengthen you all along the way. God Bless you and your family!!!
    Love and prayers and a big hug-