Some Days are Easier Than Others

You know what's so great about life? It's such a dynamic thing. It's always changing, moving, and flowing in one direction or another. Whether we want it to or not, life continues to happen around us all the time. And, because of that truth, the fact is that some days are better than others.

Yesterday was one of those days that was a little less easy than the others. I joked with our Early Intervention Co-Ordinator that yesterday was one of those days I was just sure God was wearing steel-toed boots and I was wearing a large red "Kick Me" sign. Maybe I was only half-joking. Poor Little Guy has his first ear infection (never good when you've already got so little hearing to begin with), RSV, and horrible reflux. We can't help the RSV until we help the reflux, but we can't help the reflux until the RSV is gone. It's just a cycle we'll have to find our way out of.

After learning all this from the pediatrician, I went over to Target to pick up his prescriptions. What did I learn there? Well, I learned that our insurance still didn't have Little Guy in their records, so I'd be paying for his medicines out of my own pocket this time. I'll be able to get a refund in a few days when it all kicks in, but it was still just one more thing that day.

Once the ordeal at the pharmacy was done, I came home to do Snort's semi-annual evaluation. Of course I was late to that, but at least I was able to give the ECI people a heads up that I'd be late. I have the MOST amazing ECI team organized for my kids. (So good that I hyperventilate a little at thought of losing any of them somewhere down the line. There is nothing more valuable than a good treatment team).

Anyway, I rushed in and put Snort and Pretty down for naps and filled them in on the morning's events and findings. The occupational therapist, who I really do love, suggested that we might try pumping Little Guy's breast milk and thickening it for him to help keep it down. She made a very reasonable suggestion, and it's one I know we'll hear from the GI dr. next week. But, it also happens to be one that breaks my heart. It's bad enough that the crappy genes he got from me took his hearing from him. Now, the one thing only I should be able to do to comfort and nourish him is also making him sick. Well, at least that's what went running through my head at the time. And, of course, I proceeded to come completely apart and cry. Me! Crying there in front of Snort's team and a student. Nice. Yeah, sometimes we all feel like big losers. Yesterday was one of those moments. And the poor OT. I can only imagine she felt so bad...and it wasn't even her fault.

Then, Little Guy's breathing got pretty yucky in the middle of the night, so we got to spend some time in the ER together. Turns out the RSV hasn't penetrated his lungs yet (hooray!!!), but he is too little to know how to cough and get all that junk out. Poor kid. I have found that crying clears his lungs, so I'm the mean mom who keeps making him mad when his breathing gets yucky. Think he'll need therapy for that later? Probably. If he doesn't, I probably will.

So, why do I tell you all this? Well, it's not so much to get your sympathy. (I do just fine feeling sorry for myself, thank you very much.) It's more to tell you that today is a better day. The sun is shining today, and it's much warmer than the bitter cold and wind of yesterday. The air is just right to really feel the warmth of the sun as it shines down. Little Guy's cough is sounding so much better, and he's sleeping comfortably. I think maybe his ear isn't hurting him as badly today. And, just because God loves me so much, I don't think he's refluxed one time today. (I have to give God credit. He always opens a window when he closes my doors.) A friend of mine showed up and helped me take the kids to the chiropractor. She just showed up because she knew I could use the help...and that I'd rather die than ask for it.

It is true that some days are easier than others. And I'm glad for that. I'm glad to know that not every day is going to be like yesterday was. Some will be even better than today is. Others might be worse than yesterday. But, in life, things are always changing. So, if today isn't so great, at least I get to look forward to when it will be better. And that's a good thing.