My Big Brainstorm - "Shearing for Hearing"

This is Raelyn. Can you help me help her hear?

Every now and then I get a brilliant idea. I'll be honest. It doesn't happen all that often, so it's worth paying close attention when it does happen.  This morning was one of those moments when my light bulb came on and I got an idea so brilliant that I haven't been able to sit still since. I'm bound and determined to make this come to fruition.

Liam has a little girl in his class that is kind of his bestie. She's a tiny little thing full of spunk and spirit. She tells him where to go and how to get there and he actually listens.  They love to play and giggle together. They find ways to keep their teacher on her toes all the time.  My favorite is watching them hug each other every time they get together. For as little as they are, they have a sweet friendship like no other.  This little girl is truly a treasure to Liam and I, for one, think she is about the CUTEST thing on two feet.

His little friend has always worn hearing aids.  Her mom is a pro at making sure her cute little purple aids always have color coordinated ear molds that are about as girly as possible.  Shortly before school let out last spring, the unthinkable happened. She lost more hearing. A lot more hearing.  Having been there and done that, I know how heartbreaking that is for a parent to watch and it was no different for her family than it was for mine.  The only resource left for her is a cochlear implant.  This seems nice and easy and her sweet parents finally made the difficult decision to implant her and then the worst case scenario happened: their insurance doesn't cover implants because they're "cosmetic".

This is where my brilliant idea comes in.  This situation has been weighing on my mind for a while because I know what it's like to want desperately to give your child something she NEEDS, but you can't because money stands in the way.  I was in the shower this morning when the answer finally came to me.  Her mom is a hair dresser, and a very good one at that.  In my mind, I can see this amazing event that I'm going to call "Shearing for Hearing".  She is going to get as many of her hair dressing friends as she can, and I'm going to work on getting some more on top of that. I'm talking I want an ARMY of hair stylists to be on hand for the loooooong line of hairy people needing to be cleaned up.

My plan is to offer haircuts for $10 donations per head. Of course, customers can donate more (far more) if they'd like.  I'm looking at an outside venue like possibly the parking lot of our HOA clubhouse.  (We're waiting on the trustees to approve it and then we can move forward.)  We'll only offer cuts and no styling or coloring this time.  While people wait, we'll have a clown that does balloon animals, hopefully a bounce house (I'm looking for someone to donate one or tell me how to find a fairly cheap rental), and a dunking booth.  Since our clubhouse is full of residents who have children who all go to the same school, my plan is to beg and plead with the school principal, music teacher, maybe even the school nurses, and the two most popular 5th grade teachers ever to come sit in the booth.  Who doesn't want to soak their favorite educators, right?

The timing couldn't be better. School starts here the 15th of August, so August 11th is the Saturday we're looking at.  I know I like my kids to look good just before school starts and $10 each is a great bargain.  What could be better?!?!?

I want to go a step further with this. I want to create The Baby Ears Foundation and raise funds to give to other families like this one who just need some help to get their kids the hearing they so deserve. Batteries, warranty renewals, repairs, hearing tests, etc. all add up and are often not covered by insurance. If I have my way, no child will ever go without hearing due to their parents being unable to afford it.  It's a long term goal, but I WILL see it through. Mark my words.

In the meantime, I need to get my wheels turning for this first event.  I need help.

1.  Who knows about donations and tax laws? Do I need to do something special?  Can the hair dressers collect the fees and then just gift it to the family or do I have to get some sort of permission? HELP!!

2.  A bounce house. I REALLY need one cheap. Anyone know where to start on that one?

3. I need MORE MORE MORE stylists. Badly.  Please? It's a great cause.

4.  Ideas and things I should know.  Do I take only cash so there are no bounced checks or do I just take the risk?  What do I need to know?

Okay, readers. I know you're all out there. Help me help someone else.

The Hard Stuff

CJ has beaten the odds.  On so many levels, he's a success story that will be told for years to come.  He's such an odds beater (is that even a word?) that his case has been used as a model for early intervention providers back in TX.  On all the measurable levels, CJ's story has had the ending that every provider could ever ask for.  Great speech, perfect really.  Amazing literacy skills.  Brilliant mind and ability to articulate what's in his goofy little head.  Smart. So very smart.  He's kept up with all of his mainstream peers and then some.  All of these are great things and we are so proud to know that he's done so well despite the challenges placed before him literally since birth.

I have to be honest, though. There are some things that can't really be measured by a standardized test that he has struggled with.  One thing in particular weighs heavily on our minds as his parents and we worry for him. Maybe it's not so much worry as it is that we just wish we could make it easier for him and take the frustration away from him.  Friendshipping.  It's so difficult for CJ to make and keep friends and it's like a knife to our hearts every time we see him hurting.

CJ is a GREAT kid and he would give anything for a good friend who wanted to spend time with him.  Pragmatics is hard for him, though, so he doesn't always "get it" when other kids want to do something different, when they laugh at jokes he doesn't fully understand, or when they have little interest in the things he is interested in.  He tries so hard to impress his friends with facts he's learned and memorized, usually about things like insects, items that only Ripley's Believe It or Not would appreciate, or bodily functions.  The trouble is that other kids his age don't really appreciate CJ's facts.  They also don't enjoy inventing wild creations out of left over "stuff".  Other kids his age, especially the boys, want to run and jump and ride their bikes and have sword fights and, well, CJ doesn't like to do those things partly because his vestibular damage makes it so he really can't.

We watch CJ as he tries to step out of his comfort zone and befriend other children.  He makes small talk, invites them to play with him, and makes funny little gifts to give them.  Most of the time he comes back to us and explains that the other kid didn't want to play with him because they were busy with someone else, doesn't like bugs, or whatever else.  Then he looks up at us and says almost without fail, "They don't really want to play with me, but I'm okay with that."  He puts on a brave front, but we can see him hurting.  He's lonely.

Then there are the kids who take it a step beyond politely declining his offer of friendship.  These are the kids who tease him, make fun of him because he doesn't run as fast or can't ride a bike, tell him they'll be his friend if he gives them this, that, or the other.  He's so eager to make friends that he will literally give the shirt off his back, the lunch from his tray, or the homework from his backpack only to have the kid tell him thank you and walk away with whatever treasure they've taken.  These are the kids who play with him for a little while until someone better comes along, so they turn on a dime and laugh at him before going off to play something better with someone more fun.  These are the kids that make my heart hurt.

This coming school year makes me nervous.  CJ has one really good friend at school, and she won't be in his class.  She looks out for him, puts him in his place when she needs to, helps include him in her circle of friends, and she sticks up for him when she sees other children picking on him.  I'm not thrilled about the choice of placement for him next year, and the school knows it. We've discussed it in depth with the principal and next year's teacher.  The teacher thinks she's got a great plan to help all the kids learn about acceptance and respect and blah, blah, blah, but I'm nervous.  Even though we have an amazing teacher for him, the truth is that she can't protect him all the time and that scares me a little bit.

We're adding more pragmatics and social skills to his IEP plan.  (Thank goodness for that! In TX, they'd have dismissed him from speech in kindergarten and he'd never have the chance to develop the language he needs to advocate for himself.)  We're going to look into letting him join the art club and the computer clubs at school even though he's only a third grader and you really have to be in fourth grade. The idea is that these clubs will help him find peers with common interests.  Mostly, we'll be praying. A lot.

The point of this post isn't to dishearten other parents with kids like CJ.  It's to acknowledge the fact that, even though he's beaten the odds and done remarkably well, sometimes there will be hard parts to life no matter what you do.  It's to beg parents to please PLEASE encourage your children to go out of their way to be patient with kids like CJ who really just need a friend.  Actually, you might just find that CJ has quite a bit to give back. He's loyal, funny, full of goofy facts, so loving, smart, kind, talented, and completely accepting of everyone no matter what their faults.