Little Miracles



One of my favorite parts of having kiddos with some special needs is that things that would just be ho-hum suddenly turn into little miracles.  In the past couple of months, I've seen lots of little miracles with my boys. I'm not sure what to attribute them to, but I will say that the time correlates with when I started using the doTERRA oils my friend, Mindy, sent to me.  Things just got easier once we started using them.

CJ and Liam are where we've seen the most marked improvement, but Byron will often call me at work and ask me which of the oils I gave him to keep in his desk he needs for this or that. His anxiety is down tremendously even though his work load is up. He's sleeping at night, and waking feeling more rested. The list goes on.  Anyway, I digress. I wanted to talk about CJ and Liam.

CJ has gotten so that he asks for these silly oils by name. He got hold of my doTERRA magazine and read it cover to cover one night. He studied it in depth and created his own wish list for which oils he wants for himself.  He really likes the inTune because he doesn't have homework when he uses it. I think that's probably because he can focus on work and get it all done in school.  He also loves the Balance and Citrus Bliss, both of which help with stress and worry.  Balance is calming for him, and I see a difference in him when I apply it as his ADHD meds are wearing off.  In the evening, I give him some lavender or Serenity and it does help him sleep. It doesn't resolve all his sleep issues, but things are certainly better.

Liam has completely stopped with several of his sensory seeking behaviors.  In fact, things are so good that there hasn't been a single Poocasso incident in nearly two months...maybe more!  We've been able to clean up his room, repaint his walls, and make his room into his own fun little sanctuary. I still need to put the color paint on there (colonial blue!!), but that should happen sometime next week.  He isn't running through the house systematically dumping everything in sight. HE IS EATING HIS MEALS!  I sometimes still have to put a hand on his lap to help remind him to sit still, but he's eating foods he wouldn't even consider before.  He is going to sleep and staying asleep until it's actually time to wake up.  The biggest moment with him came yesterday as the missionaries were sitting here. One elder said, "What's different with Liam? He's so different from when I first met him a few months ago? He's following directions and I can understand so much of what he says." That missionary was exactly right.  Liam's words can be understood often without even being in context and by people who don't know him very well.  My friend, Anne Marie, even understood him over the phone!! This is huge!! Turns out this little dude has a sense of humor and loves to crack little jokes.  I love these miracles I'm seeing with my boys.

The oils have done other things, too.  So far, I've seen all of the following things in my own experience:

• Strep throat wiped out in minutes...at least the pain and fever
• Toothache totally gone
• Teeth whitened
• No more witching hour when I remember to keep the diffuser on during difficult times of the day
• The dog had an accident on the floor and I mixed some lemon with baking soda. The odor was gone and the house smelled GREAT!
• All sharpie and other writing came right off the walls
• Lavender applied to a boiling water burn pulled the pain out instantly
• Headaches totally gone in minutes
• Muscle aches and pains drastically minimized
• Asthma attacks are almost non-existent
• The only illness any of us got was when Rachel got strep. I attacked that with onGuard toothpaste and it went away almost instantly.  Schools and church have been germ cesspools, but we've avoided it. (knocking loudly on wood)
• A friend had a daughter with warts that they'd been fighting for a long time, and the warts were gone within ten days of applying the oils
• Byron says he's more relaxed
• Sore throats disappearing quickly

There's more, but I can't remember it all. I'm just amazed by what this stuff has done for my family and feeling very blessed to have it in our lives.  I love how little miracles just happen all the time around us.

All Hail Liam, the Dictator!

Well, ever since Liam has been on his medicine, we've noticed something very unexpected: an explosion of language.  It's a nice surprise, but it also highlights the fact that this little dude is a bit bossy.  Actually, he's freakishly bossy. Little booger.

Example Number One: I tried a new recipe I found on Pinterest. It's the one with garlic and brown sugar chicken. It was a complete fail and none of the kids would touch it. I think most of them went and snuck some cereal when I wasn't looking later on. Anyway, I had Liam's plate all set and ready to go for him. His food was lovingly placed to look pretty and his chicken was cut into tiny pieces and it just looked nice.  We called him to the table and he promptly came and even seemed a little excited to eat.  When he got to his plate, he stopped dead in his tracks. He looked it up and down and then wrinkled his nose in disgust before saying, "I need trash. NOW!"  Then, he picked up his plate and walked over to the trash where he promptly disposed of the offending meal like it was no big deal before walking away.  The rest of us, of course, sat there looking like idiots and did nothing to stop him. We were too in shock at what had just transpired I think.

Example Number Two: It was Rachel's turn to bless the food for dinner. Everyone folded their arms and respectfully bowed their heads while she said her little prayer.  After her prayer, we all said Amen and began eating.  Liam took offense to this and let us know it with a whole lot of angry arm waving and "No! LIAM TURN!".  He went around to each and every one of us and made us fold our arms and then proceeded to "pray".  He went on in complete jibberish for a good fifteen seconds before saying a loud and clear "Amen!".  Then he raised his hands to us and said, "Okay, now eat" as if he was granting us permission. See what I mean?  Bossy!

Example Number Three: (This one is actually not so bossy, and kind of a breakthrough).  At church, we sit with a couple of families that we know and trust who don't mind that our kids wiggle. They're actually very helpful. One of the families has a daughter named Ellie who is one of our favorite baby sitters.  Liam loves her.  On Sunday this week, he was being a little loud so Byron brought him to me in the lobby.  Mindy was crying, so I was already out there.  He wasn't being naughty, just loud so he sat with me pretty well for a couple of minutes.  Then he got wiggly and became adamant that he wanted to go back in the chapel. I asked him to tell me what he wanted.  He slowed down a little, looked at me, and said "I want sit Ellie chair now please".  I wanted to be sure I knew what he wanted so I asked him, "You want to sit with Ellie in a chair?"  His replied, "Yes!".  I asked where and he pointed to the door and said, "In dare".  He used a complete sentence to correctly tell me what he wanted and where it was!!!!! THIS IS HUGE!!! I, of course,  promptly went to the door and beckoned for Ellie to come take his hand and off they went to sit together for the rest of the meeting.

He's even gotten bossy with the dog. He is constantly telling her to go sit or go into her cage or go lay down. He's very authoritative with her. The dog has this ridiculous squeaky rubber chicken that she can't live without. She would be in heaven if we'd just throw the thing for her all day long so she could fetch it and bring it back to us. It's her FAVORITE toy and nothing else compares. (Trust me. We've tried other toys.)  Anyway, Liam got tired of throwing the chicken but the dog wouldn't let up, so he finally took it and locked it in her cage before walking away.  That foolish dog stood there barking her head off until I unlocked the cage for her to go in and get it.  She took it back and started begging Liam to throw it again and he decided it was time to take drastic measures. He took that chicken and shoved it into the arm rest compartment of our sectional couch and walked away. Again, the dog stood there a little bewildered and barking at the couch.  Anyone walking in would have thought the house was haunted and the dog was barking at a ghost.

So, there you have it. Liam's behavior is improving, but he's turning into quite the little bossy pants.

Well, We Tried it And...

I posted last week about a really hard choice I had to make on Liam's behalf.  The discussion surrounded the fact that Liam was really having a hard time controlling his impulses and, as a result, was sometimes putting himself and even others into danger.  Our pediatrician has been encouraging us to consider some ADHD medicine to help him with these impulses and I'd been resisting it. Finally, I had decided to give in a little bit and consider trying it especially after having Byron's encouragement and hearing that his school was also on the same page.

With all that in mind, I went ahead and gave him his first dose on Thursday morning.  So far, this is what has happened:
1. Liam has pooped in the potty by his own choice. Repeatedly.
2. Liam came grocery shopping with me and was delightful. We talked and giggled and he followed my instructions to put things in the buggy.
3. Liam had a potty accident and came to my door to tell me about it rather than painting with it, which would be his usual choice.
4. At church, Liam sat so nicely that a visitor sitting by him leaned over and told us that he is a "Model kid and so well-behaved."  Yeah, we got a good giggle at that one.

There are some down sides.  When the medicine wears off, he is like a total wild man (or maybe he's just himself and we never noticed how bad things really were?).  His appetite is somewhat suppressed.  I still worry about the long-term affects of giving this kind of medicine to a child three years younger than it's intended for.

So, there is our update. These are just baby steps and I'm sure we've still got a mountain to tackle, but I think things are looking up.  Dare I say they're looking hopeful even?

Sometimes We Have To Make Hard Parenting Choices

You know those days when you wake up and you just know exactly what you need to do about something that has been weighing on your mind and you really don't like the answer?  I had one of those days this week.  I kept hoping I'd wake up one morning and the answer would be different, but instead it has just become clearer and clearer.

Anyone who has read any posts about Liam and his antics in the past couple of years knows that he is one rascally kid...and that's putting it lightly.  This kid is in constant motion from the minute his eyes open in the morning until he finally collapses asleep at night.  He is truly a two foot tornado destroying everything in his path and often putting himself in danger in the process.

We have a great pediatrician, and as much as I trust her opinion, I've avoided her suggestion that we consider giving him some medicine to help control his impulses for a long time.  In my heart, I wanted to believe that giving him more language, more attention, more structure, more of...well, something that he would eventually mellow out.  The thought of medicating him so young just felt wrong.

Well, we've given him sound and language and he's still all over the place. We've given him structure and he's still all over the place. We've given him attention and he's still all over the place. Are you seeing a trend here?

It's not so much that we mind him being all over the place. The bigger issue is that of safety.  In the past few weeks alone,he has:

Learned to climb through and over the gate in the backyard to get onto the busy road behind us

Learned to balance on his window sill and rock back and forth running risk of falling through the window and down three stories onto concrete (all upstairs windows now have bars)

Mastered going out of the house through the garage

Escaped the house repeatedly and once gone into strangers' homes, one with a gun and a big scary dog (the owner is a cop)

Tried to "help" us with Mindy by picking her up and then putting her down quickly (luckily on the couch and no harm was done)

Constantly trying to eat his hearing aid batteries/processor/anything a goat would eat

Darted in front of a car in a parking lot when Byron let go of his hand for a split second to open the car door

Has managed to get to the sharp knives no matter how high we lock them

Constantly climbed on top of books or pots on top of counters to get things too high up for his reach

Unbuckles his carseat while driving. We've gotten a new more expensive "stronger" buckle seat and it still took only days to figure that one out, too.

The bottom line is that he's a danger to himself and sometimes to others as well. So, what do we do?  Well, the pediatrician has some ideas.  I got a chance to sit and really talk to her the other day while I was taking Mindy for a visit.  She had some valid points that I hadn't considered before.  She pointed out that others in the family don't always enjoy him, but instead dread him.  No child should be dreaded.  She pointed out how it must feel to be him and feel the constant need to always be moving, touching, , running, etc.  She mentioned CJ and how much better CJ seems to feel now that we've given him medicine.  I waited eight years to allow CJ to have it, and that was hard for me, but the truth is that he is a much happier kid with it than without it.  She asked me why I'd want to make Liam wait to feel better when we could just do it now.  She had a point.

I e-mailed Liam's teachers and team at school and laid it all out for them. They spend as much time with him as I do, if not more and their opinion matters to me.  Betsy, the director of his school, responded and shared how she feels about medications in general. Like me, she avoids medicines as much as possible. She conceded that two of her four children needed medicines and now that they're adults, they can express to her how much better they feel with them than without them.  At the end of the day, it comes down to the fact that she agrees it's time to try something new.

So, here I sit as his mom wanting to do anything but medicate him but knowing exactly what I need to do. It's time to try the medicines and see if we can help him with his impulse control and make him more teachable and safe. He's such a smart, happy, beautiful kid and I want for him to feel loved and included and in control of himself.  For as much as I hate the idea, I have a feeling it just might work.

In the back of my mind, I worry that people will look at us and think we're those parents who opted to drug our kid rather than parent him. We know the truth.  We've worked and tried everything under the sun. The opinions of others shouldn't matter, but they somehow sort of do.  Weird, right?  Or maybe I worry that others will view this as me accepting failure on my part to teach him right. Maybe it is a failure, but maybe it's just something Liam has to overcome and we're giving him the tools to help do that. I don't really know the answers to that one.

What I do know is that I'll be talking to the doctor tomorrow and setting up a plan that includes picking up a new prescription for a medicine to help him help himself better.  I know it's the right thing to do and I know I don't like it.  Most of all, I know that I love him more than words can say.